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Helping Make Military Families Stronger

An interview with Frank and Michelle Strong, U.S. Air Force and staff with Military Ministry.

All photos copyright Lifestyle Media Group. Photos were shot on location at Langley Air Force base with support from the 633rd Air Base Wing Public Affairs.

Faith & Fitness Magazine: America’s troupes are iconic symbols of the freedoms we hold dear and celebrate. Give us the insider perspective. Being a member of the military, what deeper understandings have you gained about our national treasure – freedom?
Frank and Michelle Strong: I was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan. I believed my future was to end there because I was not exposed to what the world had in store for me. Books and television led me to believe that Americans were born with rights to freedom of speech, religion and the choice of leaders. I had no idea of what I signed up for when I left my home in Detroit for the Air Force in 1988. While some joined the military for patriotic reasons, I joined to get an education and jump-start my career into engineering. Patriotism grew in my heart over the years of service to my country. It began in my first year when I served in Honduras on a humanitarian mission. It was rewarding to know that I was doing something for others rather than serving myself. Life is so much larger than us. From all my travels, I’ve learned that freedom is a privilege that others dream to have for themselves.
A FORCE AT HOME AND AROUND THE WORLD
Faith & Fitness Magazine: Frank you’ve served our nation with a long career in the Air Force. Tell us more about your service, describe what it has been like for you and your family and share what you feel are the reasons most families get into military service.
Frank and Michelle Strong: I have served twenty-five years in the civil engineering career field. Besides many states in the US, the Air Force has allowed us to live in England, Honduras, Haiti, Palau, Saipan, Guam and even some places in the Middle East. My family benefited from living in diverse locations.

 

Embrace the change instead of fighting it.

The real value came in the culture exchange from the people God brought into our lives. My children were able to attend schools within the local community. For instance, while we were in England, our daughter, Makali, did a project about India. That is typically a standard research project. However she had the privilege of having a neighborhood friend from India. That relationship added a deeper dimension to her report. Her friend was able to relate to our daughter first-hand experience of what it was like to live in India. I can’t speak for all families, but the Air Force provides unique experiences for families to share.
Faith & Fitness Magazine: What are the realities for military families these days and how do they cope with the shift from their initial expectations to their real military life?

Frank and Michelle Strong: One of the most important lessons… change is the norm. Once you realize that this is your new perspective then you embrace the change instead of fighting it. Change can range from not being together for family holidays to having to move to a new school across the world smack in the middle of a school year.

A FAMILY THAT IS ACTIVE AND PURSUING A CALLING
Faith & Fitness Magazine: As individuals you have developed physically, socially, vocationally, financially and in more ways. Yet there came a time in your life when your accomplishments and successes just weren’t enough. As a couple things weren’t so strong. What led to that? How did you find the strength and direction to grow beyond that? What do you feel are the key tools that are critical to having a strong family?
Frank and Michelle Strong: We realized that there is a difference between having a good family and being a Godly family. At one point, the many things we were doing for our Lord (God) became this agenda tornado. And sometimes it spun without God being the center. We were busy being busy. And if it is church stuff, you can be easily deceived into thinking it must be right. WRONG! God has specific assignments just for you. And when you make yourself busy-for-God, you miss God’s purpose for you. Everything is not supposed to be done by you, just what God tells you to do. So we have learned how to breathe in God by yielding and listening to His specific instructions for us. There is no way around it, to have a Godly family; God has to be the center. One Bible verse says it well, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
Faith & Fitness Magazine: Both of you are serving military families through Military Ministry. Tell us about that. What are the opportunities both through your ministry and more broadly for the larger military services and culture to strengthen families?
Frank and Michelle Strong: Our focus in Military Ministry is on marriages. God healed our marriage when we were tempted to give into the world solution… divorce. We learned that God wanted to reveal himself through our marriage. So, what God did for us has now become our burning desire to serve others in this ministry. The challenges of military life sometimes can cause families to unravel. Through Military Ministry, families can learn that the solutions are spiritual in nature. The desire of Military Ministry is to point families to the faith and knowledge of Jesus Christ that will knit their families together and help them stay together during tough times. Michelle and I partner with chapels and community churches by equipping them with marriage-strengthening Bible studies, seminars, and conferences that are unique to military challenges. The tools help couples lean on God and proclaim, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.”

 

For your physical routine to change, your mental routine needs to change.

Faith & Fitness Magazine: OK, the fact that your last name is “Strong” is not why we chose to talk with you although for a fitness magazine it sure doesn’t hurt! Tell us about how you feel exercise and good nutrition are important. De-classify a few of your most secret workout tips and healthy diet practices.
Frank and Michelle Strong: Frank, being in the military has a pretty regularly required fitness regimen. But even with that, it is so easy to get caught in the daily family routine. Personal fitness can slip if you don’t make an intentional effort.
As a mom, I must admit that during our last couple of years living in England, I was more focused on the kids than myself. Malachi and Makali are quite active. Between them, they played soccer, judo, gymnastics, cheerleading and basketball. I’ve always been an avid softball and racquetball player but I allowed being my kids chauffeur and cheerleader to replace that ball time. Sorry mommies, but that’s an excuse not a reason. I realized just doing a workout here and there has no effect if it’s not consistent. I realized for my physical routine to change, my mental routine needed to change.
Frank and I went on a vegetable fast to clean out our system. We started readdressing the foods we were eating and what we were passing down to our children. Processed food was replaced with fresh fruits and vegetables. Also, we became more conscience of our food intake, so we used smaller plates. We’ve committed to this change in diet being for a lifetime not a onetime thing.
Sports are back in my life but I balance it with my family life. Although there is still individual activities we do, we’ve learned to be open and creative to the things we can do as a family. We do things like our nature and neighborhood walks or playing a game of family basketball. We try to create opportunities instead of excuses to stay a healthy family.
Faith & Fitness Magazine: So, physical fitness and being active outdoors are an important part of your weekly family lifestyle. Describe that and share how families who exercise are at an advantage in life over those families who do not.
Frank and Michelle Strong: Individually, we are very competitive, so it is easy for us to make even a nature walk fun in the great outdoors. You can be active even in the smallest of things. Frank once pointed out to us that we shouldn’t always look for the closest store parking space. Something simple like that helps us to not be lazy minded. By being more active in little things, we make being active a part of our thoughts and our actions. It has little to do with money. When times are hard families can’t afford to put their kids in activities. But, creativity is free! Be creative with your activities. You’ll discover beautiful opportunities to bond, which will strengthen you physically and spiritually.
Faith & Fitness Magazine: It is easy for individuals and families to get “caught up” in the sport, the training, the goals and the busyness of activity. How do you make time for the quiet moments, the nurturing, the listening and the fellowship?
Frank and Michelle Strong: We have learned saying no is not a bad thing but a “balance” thing. As parents, God showed us how to discern when our kids needed attention versus activities. To really hear what God has for our family, we have to take our eyes off other families. Keeping up with the Joneses is not going to fit for the Strongs if we are to be the family God calls us to be.
A FAITH THAT IS FREE TO SERVE AND LEAD
Faith & Fitness Magazine: Besides being patriotic or just giving money to support a ministry what are some practical and tangible ways that people can get engaged with and support members of the military? How can members of the military better prepare to incorporate God into their current career and future service?
Frank and Michelle Strong: Start by sending care packages to young troops serving abroad. Girl scout troops for example cut and collect food coupons to send to families abroad. This helps the military troops be good stewards of his or her finances. When a spouse’s “honey” is serving abroad the honey-do list still needs to be done. Volunteer to cut the grass of a spouse whose husband or wife is deployed overseas. Kids miss their parents when they have to deploy. So give the child a card stating how much you appreciate the sacrifices the parent makes for our country. It may seem little to you, but it does help a military child to know that her or his parent’s absence is purposeful. Helping isn’t hard. Just think of the things you would appreciate if you had to move every two to three years. Think about what you would want and then be that blessing to someone. It just takes thoughtfulness and effort.
As far as military members, incorporating God into their current career and preparing for future service, my advice is to simply have a personal relationship with God. You have to spend quality time in the Bible to know who He is and what His desires are for you. We learn this level of passion when we date our spouse. Before marriage, when I was at work, I frequently thought about Michelle and how she made me smile. This kept me going and it still does. In the same but bigger way, so does God. Don’t forget your first Love.
Faith & Fitness Magazine: Ever since America declared our “Independence” it has been part of our national and cultural DNA. What qualities in “Dependence” do you feel are important for us to develop as individuals and how can that shape us spiritually as a nation?
Frank and Michelle Strong: As Americans, it seems to be ingrained in us to value independence. There’s nothing wrong with doing things on your own, but doing it without God does not please Him. We can’t expect a nation to revere God if we don’t do it individually. A person or a nation that depends on God’s unchanging love, grace and strength bears the reflection that draws others closer to God. We believe that is how we can make an effective difference in this watching world. “I am the vine you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from Me you can do nothing.”
Faith & Fitness Magazine: One of the Air Force mottos is, “No One Comes Close”. As you consider your relationship with each other and with God, what does “No One Comes Close” mean to you?

Trust in God with all your heart and don’t depend on your own understanding. He will guide you.

Frank and Michelle Strong: I guess the best way to describe “No One Comes Close” would be our description of how God loves on our family. Considering as many deployments and temporary duty assignments that we have been through, God has protected, loved and comforted us while we were physically apart and kept us connected spiritually.
For instance, I once left for a six-month deployment a week before Malachi was born. As a provider and head of my household, I’m obligated to ensure that my family is well cared for emotionally, physically and spiritually. However, I’m limited in doing this, so I have to rely on God to get us through times like this. When someone who has not experienced the military life asks me, “How do we deal with the instability of a military lifestyle?” I respond with the Bible verse, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him; And He will make your paths straight.”
We definitely know that our marriage is a gift from God. We treasure our hurts and joys because they have only drawn us closer to God and to each other. It has allowed us to have honesty, be authentic and walk in a transparent marriage that tells the truth about who God is. We don’t just want to trust God but we want Him to be able to trust us with our blessings and our trials.


Personal Reflection And Group Discussion Questions:

1. Frank shares that one way military families cope with real life juxtaposed against initial expectations is to “embrace change” instead of fight it. How do you feel “change” is part of God’s design for life and what examples in the Bible illustrate how others looked to God during times of change?
2. Frank and Michelle talk about getting caught in the “agenda tornado” where God was NOT in the center of their activity. They say, “Everything is not supposed to be done by you, just what God tells you to do.” How does your agenda get too busy? In what areas do you feel God is calling you to simplify? Consider how doing, “just what God tells me to do” could become an excuse to pass on opportunities where God wants you to serve.
3. Michelle describes ways their family gets active together for free. What are some ways you can make physical fitness and fellowship with family or others a more regular part of your lifestyle without adding expense?
4. Take a moment and identify your passions for God. How can your personal faith play a greater role in your current career and future plans?
5. Reflect on the hurts and joys in your life. How have they helped you to grow, be more transparent and experience life more richly? How do you feel God can use you through those experiences to be life to others?

 

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